why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize