i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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