Are we in a gay sports bar?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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