I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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