I hate your face
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
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