If that was your dad, he is hot
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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