He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
