Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
So here I am, sexting at work.
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