did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
