So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
