Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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