Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
