you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
