I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize