I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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