She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I look excited, but its just a facade.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
