Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
