You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
