started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
