my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Please don't give away my fajitas
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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