I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
