Well douche your snatch and let's go!
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
