no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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