Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
