So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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