So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
