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ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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