meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
