My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize