I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
