Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
