If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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