i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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