Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
