Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
