Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
