I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
