umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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