You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
wow bdsm is so cute
I think my moral compass just broke
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