i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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