We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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