Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The Olympian is in my bed
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
