i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
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she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
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I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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