The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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