thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
