im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
