So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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