I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
