Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????