Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
it was like having sex with a tree stump
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.