I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.