THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
