How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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