Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
