This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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