stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize