But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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